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Memories of my friend  / Donna LaBree (friend)  Read >>
Memories of my friend  / Donna LaBree (friend)

Hey Valerie,

I know you are always around adding your sense of humor to things happening in my life.

I am grateful for all the memories I have of our "adventures" and that you were able to touch my life in so many ways in such a short time.

I was looking at pictures the other day and had a good laugh when I came across the ones taken at Katherines birthday party......by the way happy 60th.

You are in my thoughts so often.

Thanks for the memories.

Donna

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Happy 60th Birthday  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)  Read >>
Happy 60th Birthday  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)

March 30, 2008

Today would have been your 60th Birthday!!!  In honor of that I placed a memorial in the Bangor Daily News (with a little help from my dad...THANKS DAD!!!) so everyone who reads the paper this weekend would take a moment, remember you and wish you a happy birthday.  It is hard to believe it has been three years since you left this earthly place.  Now your spirits is floating all over this place and beyond, hopefully enjoying many exciting adventures. 

I love you mom, always have, always will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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18 years and counting  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)  Read >>
18 years and counting  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)

Well mom, it has been 18 years and I am still married to the man of my dreams.  Did you ever imagine.  I wish you were here to see our family right now.  Jeffery is getting ready to graduate high school...I know you will be there in spirit.  I hope you will help me watch over him as he thinks about spreading his wings.  I don't think I can bear the thought of him out on his own, after he has spent so many years in his room.  Patrick, he turns 14 in 3 more days.  He is not feeling very well today...watch over him while I sleep.  Jason and I are doing good....18 years of marriage and we still want to be around each other.....can't explain it.

Well mom, I love you, think of you often and wonder what kind of adventure you are on.  I hope you are enjoying your new ventures.

Love you and miss you always!

Heather

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HOW DID YOU ENDURE THE PAIN SO LONG?  / CARRIE ACITELLI (SISTER)  Read >>
HOW DID YOU ENDURE THE PAIN SO LONG?  / CARRIE ACITELLI (SISTER)
I HAD FOOT SURGERY COMING UP ON A WEEK  AGO.  NOTHING MAJOR JUST THOSE FINE GENETICS WE HAVE :)  ANYWAY SURGERY WAS FINE BUT MY APPREHENSION ON ANESTHESIA WAS WARRANTED.  IN AN EFFORT TO AVOID MY USUAL NAUSEA ND RECOVERY FROM GA, WE OPTED FOR A SPINAL.  MUCH TO MY CHAGRIN, THEY PUNCTURED THROUGH THE SAC AND I WAS SO ILL THE NEXT FEW DAYS WITH EPIDURAL HEADACHE AND NAUSEA.  I SUFFER FROM MIGRAINES FROM TIME TO TIME BUT THIS WAS SO MUCH WORSE I CAN NOT DESCRIBE IT OTHER THAN THE WORST PAIN OF MY LIFE.  I COULDN'T CATCH MY BREAT.  YET THROUGH THIS I THOUGHT OF THE AGAONY YOU MUST HAVE ENDURED AND FOR SO MANY MONTHS WITH OUT RELIEF AND I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU SURRENDERED TO IT IN THE END JUST FOR IT TO STOP.  YOU ARE SOOO STRONG VALERIE,  I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU ENDURED SO MUCH MORE SO FOR THAT I GUESS IT WAS A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE!  I HOPE I NEVER ENDURE THAT INTENSITY OF PAIN AGAIN AND I AM SO GLAD YOU NO LONGER WILL!  I AM EXPECTING TO HEAR FORM YOU IN A BIG WAY SO DON'T LET ME DOWN!  YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT SO I WILL NOT FURTHER EXPLAIN.  I LOVE YOU BIG SISTER!  FROM YOUR BABY SISTER,,,,CARRIE Close
My adventure with Valerie  / Diana Menard (cousin)  Read >>
My adventure with Valerie  / Diana Menard (cousin)
I stumbled on this site. All of these loving tributes to Val made me almost cry. So, I thought I'd tell a funny story in case Val's daughter, Heather, ever sees this. 
Val and I were supposed to walk from our grandparents' house to my house. I was a meek and shy kid and really looked up to my bold cousin. She led me on a shortcut through a neighbor's freshly tilled garden. He yelled. I froze and she grabbed me by the hand and just ran laughing all the way. Then we walked over the the dam. There was a narrow walkway. I could hear the water thundering- rushing under the dam and into the river. I can still see her smiling standing on that walkway while coaxing her chicken cousin to join her. I think I took a few steps. I was afraid. She was fearless. We both got in trouble. But, almost 50 years later I remember our adventure so clearly. She was a special person. Close
A message for my mom  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)  Read >>
A message for my mom  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)
May 22, 2007
Hi mom, 
This seems like the best place to leave you messages.  I know you may not be able to sit at a computer and read them anymore....but to just have my words out there....I hope they find their way to you.  You came to visit me last night, in my dream.  I hadn't seen  you in a while and it was nice to visit.  We were shopping for sneakers for the boys...ones that glowed in the dark (don't ask me why)...when we reached the check out you insisted on telling the clerk that you were back from the dead.  That you had been gone for a couple of years...but you were back now and was not leaving.  It was comforting to have you there, by my side.  I had something happen a few days ago that made me want to pick up the phone and call you...because out of everyone in my life....you would know who I was talking about.  When I was in the 8th grade I dated this boy named Ryan Miller.  He was just the coolest kid, but Ryan moved away to California right after school was out.  Why in a million years would I every think I  would hear from him again.  Well because of the internet....you can reconnect with anyone...anywhere in the world (which is why I talk to you here....because in Spirit I know you are somewhere in the world).  Anyway....classmates.com e-mailed me and said someone had visited my classmates.com site.  I had not been on in a while so I went to check it out.  Low and behold I see Ryan Miller's name.  NO WAY....right.   Well, he e-mailed me through classmates and asked if we went to junior high school together.  I e-mailed him back and said not only did we go to junior high school together, but that we were dating right up until he left.  WOW~~  Can you believe it 22 years later.....and I get an e-mail right out of the blue.  Anyway, we caught up on what we have been doing with our lives.  He is married with three kids (he married a redhead...go figure)....still living in California.  Isn't life crazy.  

Well, I just couldn't wait to share this little story with you.  I did get to share it with you last night in my dreams.  Thanks for coming to visit.  I have missed you so much.  It is hard when life goes on without those you love.  You do what you need to do to function and be happy in your current life, but there is a piece of your heart that is always broken.  I love you and miss you greatly.  Until we meet up again......happy travels. 

Love, 
Your Daughter Close
condolences / Bree (passbyer)  Read >>
condolences / Bree (passbyer)

may peace and comfort find all. I bet she was just a wonderful person. right now there is so much sickness in the world,When will it end? (Isaiah 33:24) Reads this way And no resident will say I sick. Soon sickness will be done away with. But untill then we will have to wait untill our love ones are reunited with us..(John 5:28,29)

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Hope you enjoyed our trip this weekend  / Vicki Mcallian (sister)  Read >>
Hope you enjoyed our trip this weekend  / Vicki Mcallian (sister)
Went to Shreveport show this weekend and it was like being in a time warp. You were very much a part of my trip and my return. But you already know that cause you were there just like 2 years ago. Still missing you and sharing this life with you but know you are happy and busy. love you Vicki Close
Missing you  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)  Read >>
Missing you  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)
Hey lady, 
It is hard to believe that two years have gone by since you left us.  Who knew that it would still hurt this much.  Driving down to Patrick's championship game today I talked to you a lot....I hope you heard me.  You must have, because I asked you to help his team win his game.  They had come in second place in all the tournaments they had played so far.  I knew you could help them take this one home.  Right before the game I told Patrick that it was two years ago yesterday that you left this world to explore the next.  He said this game is for you.  He did it, with you in his heart.  You would be so proud of him mom.  He is such the little goalie.   You would be so proud of Jeffery too.  He has had a hard year, but he has bounced back.  Watch over them, stay close by them.  

I love you and miss you very much.

Love, 
Heather
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did you move that balloon?  / Carrie Acitelli (sister)  Read >>
did you move that balloon?  / Carrie Acitelli (sister)
Our sister Vicki recently visited me and my family in Minnesota.  It allowed me to reflect my relationship with each sister and how unique each one is.  It also made me see characteristics that we all seem to share in some degree or another.  Not the physical sides like feet or bone structure or what not but personality.  Some of it works well for us and other traits, well, let's just say we could use a bit of milk to dilute it with!  We are all stubborn, strong-willed opinionated and vulnerable.  We are all to some degree Mom and to some degree Dad.  We can't escape it but we can acknowledge it and perhaps refine it and be aware of its affect on others.  I found the same to be true with other relatives i have visited with finding likeness and at times the polar-opposite of sowmthing we are or are not.  It's funny to see this so exemplified in you Valerie.  You were, after-all the first born and the one who set the standard or bench-mark to be measured by!  God bless all first borns.  What a hard postion to be in.  Here I am about to turn 44 years old and I am still deciding who I want to be.  Actually, I am happy with who I am but wish the things that I most wish to alter would happen sooner.  Things like patience, more tolerance, not as quick to judge, etc.  I wonder, seeing as you have gone to that next level and all if it is any easier to right your wrongs, embrace what you love, and see things for what they are.  I wonder if you watch us and laugh (whcich I unfortunatley see you doing!) at our blunders or things that are happening around us and speculate on how we are going to handle it, the good and the bad.  You did have an infectious laugh and one that I hope still resonates in the heavens.  

A week or better ago, I awoke in the middle of the night.  The dog who usually sleeps through everything was aroused as well.  The candles whcih we painstakingsly blew out (the kids fight over how many they can do each and each was done and double checked.)  But a candle was still going on the mantle.  I was a bit taken aback sespecially since ther eis so much danger in it and wouldn't have thought much more about it except that as I went back to bed, a mylar balloon surprised me on the staircase.  I ignored it, went back to be then suddenly rolled over to stare at it right in the face at face level!  I had a heart-attack, laughed at myself, moved it out of the room only to have it moments later hovering above me again!  Then I put it in the closet around a door, and again momnts later it eas right in my face again.  At that point, I  woke up my husband Anthony and told him I was beginning to freak a bit. He said just pop it.  I told him I couldn't it just seemed too rude!  Crazy I know.  He ended up stuffing it under the bed between some storage boxes.  It did make it way out but not for a few days.  Anyway, my first thought was it was you Valerie.  It seemed like somthing you would do!  So if it was, I acknowledge it and ha, ha very funny.  

Miss you Sis.  Love you always,  Carrie Close
JUST THINKING  / VICKI MCALLIAN (SISTER)  Read >>
JUST THINKING  / VICKI MCALLIAN (SISTER)
MOM'S BIRTHDAY IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND IT SEEMS LIKE i SHOULD BE ABLE TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND TALK ABOUT IT WITH YOU....GUESS YOU KNOW THAT...ITS HARD TO THINK ABOUT MISSING YOU....SO I THINK OF LOVING YOU INSTEAD...I KNOW THAT FEELING TRANSENDS TIME SO I KNOW YOU WILL HUG MOM FOR ME . THINKING OF ALL OF YOU DAD,MOM SIS....CARRYING YOU IN MY HEART...LOVE VICKI Close
Great stories  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)  Read >>
Great stories  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)
Just got back from a great vacation in Las Vegas.  Had some great times and great stories.  Was on my way home yesterday when I thought about how great it would be to tell you these stories.  I am sure that I will have the chance again someday.  Until them I am storing up a whole bunch of great stories and looking forward to new adventures.  Jason and I bought a timeshare in Las Vegas and are looking forward to many more trips back.  

I love you and I miss you!!!! Close
Happy Birthday  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)  Read >>
Happy Birthday  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)
Today is your birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!.  It was one year ago today that we carried out your last request and took your ashes to Seawall and put them in the ocean.  I hope the ocean has taken you to many exciting and fascinating places that you have always wanted to go.  I miss you a great deal and pray that wherever you may be that you are FREE, happy and healthy. 

Love and miss you,
Heather
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You Marched in and Marched Out  / Vicki McAllian (sister)  Read >>
You Marched in and Marched Out  / Vicki McAllian (sister)
This has been a very life challenging year without you. Big sister's have that effect on us underlings, I guess. You marched in , in March, and Marched out as well. The strong winds we are having remind me of you and your determined mindset.Sometimes it got in the way of our relationship, sometimes it sealed it.It always gave me something to glue us together. Thanks for the memories,sis. As painful as not having you here has been, I am so grateful for the sharing we get to always carry with us, no matter where we are.  love Vicki Close
You Marched in and Marched Out  / Vicki McAllian (sister)  Read >>
You Marched in and Marched Out  / Vicki McAllian (sister)
This has been a very life challenging year without you. Big sister's have that effect on us underlings, I guess. You marched in , in March, and Marched out as well. The strong winds we are having remind me of you and your determined mindset.Sometimes it got in the way of our relationship, sometimes it sealed it.It always gave me something to glue us together. Thanks for the memories,sis. As painful as not having you here has been, I am so grateful for the sharing we get to always carry with us, no matter where we are.  love Vicki Close
One year  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)  Read >>
One year  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)
One year has passed since you left us.  I remember it as if it were yesterday.  March 9th, 2005 I had come in to see you before going to work.  You had told me you had enough.  You didn't want to go back to the hospital for the umpteenth time.  We talked about the decision that you were making and the outcome of that decision.  You were at peace with it.  We sat and talked.  You had told me months before that you would not spend your life in a nursing home and you would find a way out by spring.  Before leaving we looked into each other eyes and we told each other "I love you".  Those were  the last words that we spoke.  I can not be more thankful that those were our final words.  No fighting, just love and understanding.  Having gone through the 3 years of your illness with you I was just as tired as you were.  There was a peace about the decision that you made and that I had accepted.  I was happy for you that you were finally going to be free.  Free of a body that had trapped you, free from the depression that came with that.  FREE!!!

Well tomorrow night will be the one year mark of your passing.  There are few days in my life that I remember so clearly, but this day is one of them.  Thank you for your last words, I hold them close to me every day. 

I love you and miss you.
Enjoy your freedom!!

Love,
Heather

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Mom now has angel feet  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)  Read >>
Mom now has angel feet  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)
"Angel feet" you ask.  Yes Angel feet.  Last night my mom visited me in my dream.  I had a no good, very bad day at work last night.  Mom came to check on me after I went to sleep.  It was a strange kind of visit, but that was mom.  She arrived by bus and ended up at the hospital.  I went to see her, not really understanding how she got there or why she was there.  I sat on the bed with her and cried and kept saying "how did you get back here".  The doctors were telling me it was miracle.  After the doctor left mom told me that this was a short visit.  I knew in the pit of my stomach what she meant.  God had sent her to check on me and let me know that she was doing ok.  I asked her if this was true and she said yes.  I insisted that we go and get a bite to eat.  I am not sure where we went but we went to a resturant and talked.  Before we went I was insistant that she put some shoes on.  It snowed here yesterday and I didn't want her walking in the snow in her bare feet.  She kept telling me that she couldn't put shoes on or she wouldn't be able to move.  So I stopped arguing, you know, because you could never win an arguement with mom (ha, ha).  So I sat and had a wonderful talk with her about how much freedom she now has, it was comforting.  She told me that I was doing a great job at everything and to keep up the good work.  She said she was at peace and that the transition over was easy and not to be scared when it was time.  After our dinner she said she had a few other people to visit.  I don't know how many days passed in my dream, but I remember I was running around the hospital "saving lives" when I was told that her bus was leaving.  I ran to the bus to say goodbye.  She hadn't arrived yet so I waited.  When she arrived I saw this tall, beautiful woman walking down the isle of the bus with her "angel feet".  She was walking on clouds, WALKING.  It was hard to say goodbye again.  But I knew it wasn't goodbye forever.  She is always with me, always looking over me.  I love you mom.  Though I may not talk to you every day, you are in my heart every moment.  Thank you for the visit.  Close
Hoping you have freedom  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)  Read >>
Hoping you have freedom  / Heather Spaulding (Daughter)

The one thing that helped mom and I get through the last couple of years was talking about my experiences in nursing.  There were funny stories, sad stories, strange stories, but each story gave us something to talk about other than the struggles of her own illness.  Today was a day that was full of stories, but each one mom was there with me, right beside me, helping me.  She helped me talk to a patient who was faced with a diagnosis of terminal cancer and the right to choose her own path.  She was there to help me talk to a wife who had been taking care of her sick husband for years and was tired and didn't know how much longer she could continue to do so.  Thank you mom for being there with me today.  It was nice to talk about you, to talk with you, to have you by my side, even if in spirit.  I am happy for you.  I am happy that you are free from a body that had you trapped here on earth.  I miss you terribly, but I am happy that you have the freedom to travel wherever it is you want to be.  Thanks for being with me today.  I love you and you will always be in my heart.

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Truth be told... (third attempt)  / Justin Russell (Son)  Read >>
Truth be told... (third attempt)  / Justin Russell (Son)
Truth be told we were not that close.  For this fact I hold many regrets.

Truth be told we always seemed to disagree.  For this I hold many regrets.

Truth be told we couldn't be in the same room together for five minutes.  For this I hold many regrets.

Truth be told we were so much alike.  For this I have no regrets.

Truth be told I loved her with all my heart.  For this I have no regrets.

Truth be told...... Close
Truth be told...  / Justin Russell (Son)  Read >>
Truth be told...  / Justin Russell (Son)
Truth be Close
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